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The universal concept of prayer needs very little introduction. All of humanity, in some form or another, is able to conceptualize an understanding of prayer. Prayer, throughout history has taken, and still takes a variety of beautiful and interesting forms. For the purpose of this article however, let us simply define prayer as the verbalizing of one’s thoughts, feelings, fears, goals and all things hidden, in the presence of a trusted higher power. It might come as a surprise, but aside from the spiritual benefits, when we engage in regular prayer we derive specific psychological and emotional benefits too!

 




A tried and tested tool for aiding in psychological and emotional health is talk therapy, or wellness counselling. The primary objective of such counselling is to facilitate a process through which someone untangles their inner world. It helps the person gain clarity around their thoughts, feelings and behaviour, increases their level of self-awareness, and facilitates positive changes in their behaviour to align them with chosen goals and values. For this process to be most effective a few key ingredients need to be present: A safe space, for trust to develop, and unfiltered truth and honesty.

 

The presence of trust, and truth, allows for the client to discover their authentic self, embrace that self, and then to align their life around who they are, and who they choose to be. When a person engages in prayer, they are essentially allowing themselves to be in the trusted presence of their Higher Power, and presenting themselves with truth.

 

In addition to this, each person’s prayer may incorporate any other accompanying action, such as meditation, reading of scripture, song, dance or the lighting of candles. Prayer can be done alone, or in groups. In most religions and cultures, prayer will be done both alone, and regularly in group settings such as Friday Jumuah prayers, Sunday Church services, and Buddhist group meditations. These actions, in the context of prayer, add to its profound spiritual value, allowing the person engaged in prayer to feel deeply connected to themselves, to others, and to a higher power. This feeling of being connected, cannot be underestimated, for it doesn’t only increase spiritual wellbeing, but psychological and emotional wellbeing as well. According to renowned author and physician Gabor Mate, “Safety is not the absence of threat, it is the presence of connection.” Through prayer, a person establishes connection. Accessing that connection on a regular basis leads to psychological and emotional health being maintained.

 

Engaging in prayer often leads to the release of stuck or stored emotions. When we move through our daily lives, in a hurry, unable to really feel or reflect, the days just blur into one. We become distant and dissociated from our feelings. This is often necessary in order to meet the demands of life. Once we stop to engage in prayer however, we give ourselves the time and space for stillness, allowing our otherwise ignored feelings to surface and to actually be felt. This provides us with a much-needed emotional release.



 

Prayer also incorporates techniques used to relieve stress, anxiety, depression and recovery from trauma. These techniques are mindfulness, grounding and rhythm. Mindfulness is being present in the moment. Focussing on yourself in your body, in the moment. It also involves deep breathing, which often the case during prayer. Many prayers involve grounding: kneeling on the ground, sitting on the ground, standing bare-foot on the ground and even prostrating with the forehead, hands, knees and feet on the ground. Rhythm soothes the nervous system. It is very often present in prayer in the form of song, dance, rocking, drums, swaying or the vibration felt when reciting and listening to Quran.

 

The combination of trust, truth, connection, emotional release, mindfulness, grounding and rhythm, are just some of the powerful components that prayer incorporates. These powerful components, accessed on a regular basis, are the building blocks of healing. Let us turn to prayer, and pray with a new appreciation for all the benefits we derive from it. After all, we pray to God, but we pray for ourselves, and all the world is a prayer mat!

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Stay in TRUTH with your words.

As adults, we have to acknowledge our power.

Stop saying:

"I cant" and "I have to".

Instead say:

"I choose not to" and "I choose to"

Or

"I will not" and "I will"


We need to start realizing that we do in fact have choices. As difficult as the choice may be, it's still a choice. Using truth in our wording, will help our brain to realize that we do in fact have power, and agency in our own lives.


When we say "I have to cook tonight", it's not entirely true. It's limiting and takes away our choice.

But if we say "I choose to cook tonight", fundamentally we know that we are making that choice. We might even ask ourselves: really, why am I choosing to cook? We might think about it for a bit and realize we are cooking because we choose to feed ourselves and our families healthy whole foods instead of take-outs. We then feel proud of our CHOICE to cook tonight.

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Definition

Wellness is not just the opposite of sickness. It is so much more than that.

It is CONSCIOUSLY and ACTIVELY working towards a state of optimal health, vitality and well-being.

Wellness is maintaining a healthy balance and integration of all the different parts of your life: physical, mental, relational/ social and spiritual aspects of yourself.

It is also, very importantly: a truthful awareness of yourself, your needs, your strengths and weaknesses, and the areas in which you need growth. It's not possible to work towards wellness, if you don’t know what wellness should look like, feel like or be like, so knowing what our needs are, as human beings, is essential.

 

Wellness isn’t something that you achieve once. It needs to be maintained. It grows and changes, as we grow and change. The fundamentals of wellness stay the same, but it looks different for different people, in different phases of their lives.

Wellness looks at ALL THE PARTS OF YOU, WITHIN CONTEXT. These ‘parts’ include your childhood, culture, parents, education, finances, responsibilities, trauma, losses, hopes, dreams, personality, diet, exercise, hobbies and more.

Wellness is what moves us from SURVIVING this life, to THRIVING within it.

 

What is wellness counselling?

Specialist Wellness Counsellors serve to enhance their clients' holistic well-being by using a systems approach to counselling – working towards achieving wholeness within the integrative unity of body, mind and spirit. Counsellors specialize in exploring some of the following with clients: Individual counselling, marriage/relationship counselling, lifestyle coaching, trauma counselling, addiction counselling, adapting to changes, grief/loss counselling, support and assistance in human development. The Specialist Wellness Counsellor is competent enough to lend comprehensive and specialized counselling support towards the improvement of the quality of life by assisting clients in resolving conflicts, improving relationships, sorting out general problems, coping with life’s challenges and finding inner peace.

 

Why we need it now more than ever

Many years ago, humans didn’t need to consciously and actively work towards achieving holistic wellness, the way that we need to today. 500 years ago, for example, human beings lived a more natural life. Lifestyles were healthier, more wholesome and more connected, automatically.

People woke up with sunrise and started winding down when dusk started approaching – no night shift work, or alarm clocks.

People moved their bodies naturally every day- walking, running, farming, climbing, chopping wood etc. – no gym / bootcamps

People connected to animals more, riding horses, farming, and sending letters with birds – didn’t need a trip to the zoo once in a lifetime.

People connected to nature - forest hunting, foraging, planting crops, getting water from rivers – No being stuck inside a concrete building every day.

People connected to each other more – family was the primary building block of society, followed by interdependent village communities.

All babies were given skin-to-skin contact with mother, all babies were breastfed, all babies co-slept – no formula, no day-cares, no exams at age 6 years.

 

Today, we are about 2 – 4 generations into a time of extreme industrial and technological progress. Society has evolved so quickly, that the human being HAS NOT been able to keep up. Not at all. We have forgotten that we are STILL natural beings, we are not A.I.

So over the last 2 - 4 generations or so, we forgot how to live well, and what living well looks like.

The 9am to 5pm grind all year round put us in very rigid routines.

We are overwhelmed with choices and options. One example of this is food: Fast food, homemade food, homegrown food. Vegan food, fad diets, and calculating calories daily.

We are under pressure to have it all and do it all: to be overly productive and achieve many material things - degrees, awards, good grades, big houses, new phones. And we must do all of this while looking good and being good Muslims! It’s insane.

Now we have higher levels of anxiety. Children, teens, adults, all of us. Addiction rates are higher. Not just drugs but unseen addictions as well. Almost all of us are addicted to refined sugar and social media. Most of us are on medication just to keep surviving day to day. We forgot how to move naturally, so our bodies are literally sluggish and sore. Some of us are controlling, trying to manage everyone around us. We are struggling with parenting. Young people are relationship hopping, and job hopping, and friendship hopping, because long term commitment is too hard. According to research, almost a third (30.3%) of the population has experienced a common mental disorder in their lifetime, anxiety being the most prevalent!

 

As time went on in this modern world, we became more isolated, more disconnected, and more confused as to what Health and Wellness actually is. In an attempt to remedy all of this, the pursuit of wellness is our attempt to solve the problems that we created for ourselves. We are rediscovering who and what we are. We are pausing, we are observing, and we are trying to move in the right direction.

 

Different branches of holistic wellness

-          Spiritual (psycho-spiritual growth)

-          Physical: movement, diet, managing illness

-          Mental: education, mindfulness, values & goals, focus

-          Emotional: knowing how to regulate our emotions, healthy coping vs unhealthy coping

-          Relational: marriage, divorce, parenting, healthy relationships

-          Healing from trauma or abuse

-          Recovery from addictions, co-dependency, unhealthy generational patterns

-          Lifestyle management

 

Taking responsibility for our own wellness and that of our families

We cannot just be operating on auto-pilot anymore. It has clearly not been serving us well. We cannot just replicate what our parents did, or over-correct. (do the opposite of what our parents did)

 

We must practice tafakkur, tadabbur, and muhaasabah: reflection, contemplation and self-accountability. Islam calls us to these practices over and over again. We must pause and observe ourselves. We must ask questions, be open to learning, and find ways to live healthier. We must feed our bodies, our minds, our souls. Go to that workshop, sign up for that lecture series, join that support group, start that hiking club, read that book, go for that run. We have the resources. We must actively use them.

 

Aneeqah Arend

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